Journey back to me:
“I wrote My way out”
By Victoria Traylor
I was once a woman that shined so bright, marched to the beat of my own drum, and colored outside the lines. One day I met a man. It was a slow but steady process as he stripped me day by day, year by year. Self-confidence depleted, colors now dim, timid and afraid is how I tip-toed through life. It took me 7 long years to realize what was taking place. I was in an unhealthy relationship. I lived years thinking something was wrong with me, I wasn’t enough, isolated from friends and family. The only thing that I felt that was truly mine at this time in my life were my words, my writing. I decided that I was going to write myself to freedom. Guess What???!! That is exactly what I did. I wrote poem after poem until I was strong enough to act on my words. Here is the poem that I wrote and read many days, it encouraged my soul.
I Wrote My Way Out
I wrote my way out of the pits of hell
I wrote until the tears flowed and I felt a release
I wrote until I began to feel the strength of my God
I wrote until my fingers bled
I wrote until I exhausted my mind
I wrote until the queasiness of my stomach quieted
I wrote until I could start to breathe on my own
I wrote until fear stopped looking like an enemy
I wrote until my heart started beating normally
I wrote until every lie I have ever been told stopped replaying in my mind
I wrote until the unfamiliar became familiar
I wrote until I began to believe that I could love myself again
I wrote until peace invaded my space
I wrote until all of my worries didn’t seem so terrible
I wrote until…
I was free
I wrote my way out of depths of despair
I picked up my pen and sometimes typed words that uplifted my soul out of darkness
My musings cleansed me and gave me hope
I felt so unworthy for so long
Told myself I didn’t deserve to have a voice
Yet that little voice deep inside said the key to your freedom is to write
Write until you begin to breathe without assistance
Write until his words and perception of you don’t determine your fate
Write until the tears agree to take a hiatus
Write until you see traces of your once beautiful self
Write until you believe that you are still beautiful
Write for every woman that feels just as you do
Silenced, abused, unwanted, worthless
And keep writing
Until you are free
My despair was ever present in that piece. I am free now, and although it has been the toughest journey of my life, I truly have been liberated. I will not say that I don’t have scars that will be forever with me, but I know that while I am bruised I am not broken. It is never too late to start over, to rebuild, to love yourself. I want to encourage you right now where you are… if you are in a relationship and you feel like the worst version of yourself day in and day out, please evaluate your situation. You are not alone, there is help out there. No person should feel like a prisoner in their own life. Sending peace and blessings, I truly hope my story inspires and encourages you.
If you are interested in my complete journey I encourage you to pick up your copy of Resurrected By The River available on Amazon.com. Resurrected By The River is a book of poetry that I wrote during my journey to freedom and self-love. I laid my soul bare on the table for the world to see hoping to encourage and inspire someone.
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