impressions on the heart
turning pain into purpose
By Chelsea Lyles-Jackson

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My name is Chelsea Lyles-Jackson I’m 26, I’m a wife, mom etc. I work full time from home now. I guess my story starts off pretty typical. My mother raised my brother and I. We had a pretty good child hood, we had it rough, but we were well taken care of and loved. I would describe the child me as shy, sweet for the most part lol, sensitive, and giving. I went through my rebellious period as a teen and a young adult. I would say I had big dreams, goals, I’ve always wanted to help people in any way I could. I thought I knew everything and that I was grown too. Although, I allowed different experiences to take me hostage and set me backwards, and over time I know I lost myself early. There were times we were without a place to call our own, but mom always made sure we had some where to go.

I’ve had my share of heart breaks, etc. I tried community college a few times after high school, but I never could/would stick to it. I was only going because that’s “what you should do”. I started to forget about my dreams. School didn’t work for me not once out of the at least 4 times I tried. I moved in with my, at the time fiancé, and his mom maybe 2 months after high school. We worked minimum wage jobs just to feed ourselves. We were young, in love, and stupid of course not even knowing who we were. We struggled a lot financially as well as in our relationship. So much pressure. So young. We had a baby 20 years old; still babies ourselves. She is a blessing, but we weren’t ready, and reality hit us fast.

We went ahead and got married when our daughter was 6 months. We were still struggling and still living with my mother in law the 1st 4 years of our relationship. We finally moved out on our own with our baby and it only got harder for us. I couldn’t even really begin to talk about the demons we’ve faced. I became depressed and anxious over time. It seemed like everybody around me was going through too and to be honest that added to the depression. As bad as I thought it was for me, I hate to see other people going through. I genuinely care, I used to think I was weird and I cared too much. I job hopped and we kind of stood still it seemed like. I gained weight, I went from 135lbs to 220lbs. The depression got worse, I tried counseling and the doctors even put me on meds. It drove me personally crazy, to me it seemed to make me worse. I eventually tried to commit suicide. I know now it was selfish, but I felt weak, I felt alone, I felt like I failed as a wife and a mother. I felt like my daughter was better off without me and like everybody else was too because I couldn’t help nobody the way I wanted too not even myself…

“Thankfully the failed suicide attempt was a wake-up call”

Thankfully the failed suicide attempt was a wake-up call, a slap in the face, a reality check. I realized I needed to check myself! I stopped loving me along the way, I stopped doing things I liked and there were days where of course I was not the best to the people I love most. One thing for certain I love my family to the death of me. There are things I’ve experienced like most people that naturally cause damage.
everything is overcomeable

However, everything is overcomeable (may not be a real word but…). We all just need a little help sometimes. A simple hand to say get up baby you can make it through this and that can be from anybody, given to anybody. I realized though if you need help, it may be hard for you to help me especially if we’re trying to figure out how to overcome the same thing. Typically, what happens is we don’t realize that just by changing the way we think we can help ourselves and each other…. I’m personally tired of been sick and tired of being broke, depressed, overweight, insecure, I’m tired of crying. I’m tired of sitting on the phone with someone I love and that’s all I can do is listen to them cry. That makes me feel helpless and my spirit sinks within me. I hate feeling weak and to be stuck in feeling weak, held captive, sunken within in yourself for years is one of the hardest if not the hardest battle you’ll have to fight. Sometimes I stay off social media for periods at a time and I don’t watch the news ever because 9 timestime outta 10 you’re going to see somebody going through something. I think if I could…. I would… I yearn to be able to…. 

Eventually after a lot of praying and applying change. It hit me that I could do what it is I yearned to do. The very things that would call out my soul… My Destiny! Living a happy, fun, harmonious, loving, life with my family just turnt all the time (LOL). I just mean living my best life and living it to the fullest; I only get one. I can’t do that while there are so many people going through around me. It’s like a distraction I’ll never be fully focused or fully at peace. Even when I’m still going through myself. I want to make a change, though, and I don’t have all the resources I need to make this change, but God will provide.
“I want to make a change, though, and I don’t have all the resources I need to make this change, but God will provide.”

I started to dream again

I started to dream again, to believe I could again. To love me again! I’ve remembered my name. And i’ve remember that I’m passionate about poetry, dancing, good books, music, spending quality time with family, hanging with friends, traveling, I love to talk, I love helping people, I love to encourage others even when I can’t encourage myself. I believe in healing I want to heal and help others along the way, I feel like we can do it together.

I have big dreams to help out my community, to help women just like me who have struggled with insecurities, self-doubt etc. I want to reach suicide victims, mothers, I want to help families heal, become closer etc. I want to help children keep them dreaming. I want to help domestic violence victims, co-parenting issues, the homeless, people who just need a little more help rather it’s getting their license back, getting things expunged from their record so they may have better opportunities or finding affordable housing and jobs. I want to help former convicts get back on their feet. How do we expect them to do anything better when we wont give them a chance to?

I feel as though our crime rate is high because our kids/teens don’t have anything to do our parents can’t afford nice summer camps etc. My grandmother taught me long ago a child is going to be a child if you don’t give them something to do they’re going to find something to do and that’s one of the realest things I’ve ever heard. We don’t have enough resources, support.  I want to be able to help men heal, to talk and release. I recently found out that the suicide rate for men is higher than it is for anyone. I believe part of that comes from our men clocking out as boys, because their taught “you’re a big boy shut up get up and dust yourself off”? I can’t imagine not giving my son the same love and affection I give my daughter. 

changing the world with impressions on the heart
“we all have some type of heartbreak, past pain, that molds us and sometimes the outcomes aren’t good”

My list doesn’t stop here but honestly, I want to change the world. I know I can’t do it alone, I don’t want to and I’m not I have a team behind me that feels the same way I do, and I know there are several other people out there. I just want everybody to help each other we can change it together a little bit at a time. I don’t feel like I’ve even scratched the surface of how far I want to go to help, and the resources I want to provide. I don’t have a $1 to my name but I leaped out on faith and started a non-profit in hopes to help endlessly.
I found that people generally are good and mean well but we all have some type of heartbreak, past pain, that molds us and sometimes the outcomes aren’t good. So, I know there are a lot of people that want to help, sometimes we just don’t know where to start. Resources to help are endless. Any positive service can be utilized; donations of food, money, property, counseling services, healing services, people who have been through and they’re better or working on it to speak and be encouraging, fitness trainers, fitness equipment, volunteers, monetary gifts, poets, singers, dancers, the list is endless. I have so many different ideas, events I would like to host to empower and help the city, in so many ways no help is too much because I’m going to need all the help and support I can get. While I’m still saving up for a website etc. I’m trying not to let anything stir me away from the mission Guidance through love and life. 

If anyone would like to contact me regarding my foundation Impressions On The Heart the best way at the time to contact me would be via email impressionsontheheart@gmail.com

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