How I positively Grieved
The day she died, I felt like both my parents had been ripped away from me in a moment’s notice because I had never had a father growing up. She was my biggest supporter in life, and we often depended on each other for strength and guidance throughout the last years of her life. When she died, I didn’t immediately start to grieve. Though I wanted to, it took me several weeks to get over the shock and denial of realizing that my hero had died. Besides, I couldn’t grieve after my mom’s passing because I had to write out her obituary, contact my mom’s church and her pastor for the funeral and burial services, contact her boss about having the repast at her place of work, and pack up my mom’s things. It was a month after my mom’s death that her absence started to affect me, and I started to grieve.
1. I embrace my Christian faith. I find comfort in it and reading the bible day to day as I remember the things my mom taught me about God and her favorite bible verses.
2. I stay in touch with family members, friends, and people who meant a lot to my mom. On sad days, I tell family members and friends to check on me as well as to pray for me. To add to, talking to mom’s old friends on the phone and hearing them tell me stories about her and her love for me helps on sad days.
3. I try to still celebrate special dates that meant a lot to mom and me even in her absence from my life. Her birthday was a big deal to us both, so this year I went out to eat on her birthday as if I were still treating her. I also plan to donate money to a cancer foundation on her death anniversary this year and carry out holiday traditions that my mom started with my siblings and me.
4. I give myself space and time to grieve. If there’s a day where I feel sad and want to wallow in my sadness over my mom’s death, I let myself do so for however long I need to that day. Afterwards, I resume my plans for the day or week. I don’t force myself to feel better right away or to be done grieving her death by a certain time. I’ll always miss her and will never be fully done grieving her death.
5. I try to express my feelings daily in some form or way. I don’t hold my feelings in or try to hide my feelings about my mom’s death. Sometimes, I will talk them over with family and friends. Other times, I’ll journal my feelings or write a poem about them.
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